Personal Branding in 2026, Live Launch Strategy and the Fear That Stops Founders Scaling | Matt Hall

The real work behind the scenes with the King of Live Launching.

Multiple six figure businesses built. Sixteen years in. A Guinness World Record and a top charting podcast to his name. Love still unsolved, until this conversation.

Matt Hall came into the studio to talk about how to scale a business in 2026. We covered why a personal brand is now non negotiable, how to reverse engineer a live launch to a revenue target, why he gives away the how for free, and the launch disaster that still made £42,000 in a week.

Then the conversation turned.

I asked him what he would do if he had no fear of rejection. What came back were two fears he has never named out loud. That she will hurt him again. That he will hurt her by not being present enough. Both running quietly underneath sixteen years of building.

Both things were true. The record year and the empty weekends.

In this episode:
 How to build a personal brand that AI cannot replicate
 How to reverse engineer a live launch to a revenue target
 Why free masterclasses fail and what to give away instead
 How to build an offer that answers every objection before it is spoken
 Why in person rooms now beat online reach
 The imposter pattern that follows successful founders into every other area of life

For established founders three to seven years in, growing fast, and privately aware they are operating below their ceiling.

Secure your ticket for Soul Speaks LIVE London  15th and 16th October: 
https://www.laurabeddoe.com/soul-speaks-2026-waitlist

Connect with Laura: www.laurabeddoe.com
Connect with Matt: https://join.successschoolgroup.co.uk/

Transcript

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SPEAKER_05 0:00

Oh my god, if I didn't ever have any fear of rejection.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Around relationships specifically.

SPEAKER_05 0:06

I'd fucking talk to everybody.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

I'd be like, oh are you?

SPEAKER_05 0:12

Come here. I would just be like because I've there's nothing to lose. We're either gonna have a good conversation, we're gonna have a laugh, or not. Yeah. I hope that doesn't make it sound like I'd be a dick. No, no, you, but it like I hope people would know I'm just having a laugh.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Yeah, well I don't really know you that well, but I do.

SPEAKER_05 0:41

But you do, so it's alright with you. But again, we're not on a podcast, we're just mates having a chat. And I've always been a chronic people pleaser. I've always wanted everybody to like me. And it's something in the online space I have definitely struggled with is and doing a reality TV show where even just some of the clips go out get loads of views and just people like ripping your appearance, or what the one I get a lot is oh, he's just gay anyway. When's he gonna tell us she's that he's gay? And putting yourself out there publicly of all the bits of building a personal brand and an online business, the bit I've struggled with the most is that rejection, is that not being able to be liked by everybody. You can't when you go out to in front of millions.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Where's the biggest disaster you've ever had in a launch? That isn't written down, that's off the cuff.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

I love it. We're getting all spontaneous and shit.

SPEAKER_05 1:32

I didn't realise my Zoom room capped at 100 people on the master class, and we had a thousand people signed up, and I was just seeing it in the waiting room going up to a hundred. I was like, oh my god, I was expecting because obviously with conversions, just because people sign up, they don't show up. I was expecting around 200 plus. I was like, it keeps getting to a hundred and then dropping to 99, going back to 100. And I was like, anyway, I'll just have to let them in. And I was like, oh, people are saying they can't get in. So that was a disaster.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

I want to share with you the fact that we are doing our third annual flagship event, Soul Speaks Live in London, and you are invited. Over 200 conscious founders, all looking to elevate their identity, manifest and scale within their business. This year we have Roxy Nafusi, the absolute queen of manifestation, joining us to teach us in a workshop how she uses manifestation tools that has enhanced her entire life. She has sold one million copies of her books worldwide, a recognized podcast. She carries a lot of authority within the manifestation space, and I am absolutely honored that she will be joining us at the event. We have Nick James, who is the event expert. He is going to be teaching us how to market and the things that you need to be doing in your business today to start to see results. We have Amy Atkinson, the absolute legend of how to turn your socials into your sales engine machine. And then lastly, we have Sean Chiara, like myself, teaches women how to use the subconscious mind, and she has gone from being a woman that was continually in her overdraft, believing the conditioning of her culture, and she has transformed her life and her business to seven figures, and she's gonna educate you how to speak to your dreamy premium buyer that is ready to pay you. These tickets are going to sell out. So if you are thinking about grabbing your ticket, do it now. What you're going to leave with isn't just a feeling of rah-rah ra or slough. This event, every single year, it moves the needle within your business and reminds you one absolute boss that you are. Not only that, you are going to walk away with a signature talk that converts and a blueprint that is going to enable you to sign your next three to five premium clients. And if you do not get at least five strategies that you can implement in your business when you walk away, I am going to personally give you a refund because that's how much I believe in the results that you gain from the event. I know that you want comfortable chairs, I know that you want a delicious lunch, and I know that you want space to be able to talk to other founders within the room, to network, to build your communities, and to find your next potential dreamy client in the room. So you know what to do. Click the link before we dive into this gorgeous episode with so much juice from me and Matt Hall. Today we are in the studio filming with Matt Hall. You would have seen me attending events with him in Obitha. And today I have I invited him into the studio to be a guest on the podcast for SoulSpeaks. And I'm just so excited to just dive into the success that this one has created. And also we're going to be diving into his relationships, his businesses, and we're going to be looking at his success and everything.

SPEAKER_04 6:12

Yeah, there's some failures along the way, let's say.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

So, Matt, you have built multiple six-figure businesses. You have been running them since you were 19 years old. You've never had an actual job, and you have a background in entertainments, you have this real natural ability to capture attention, I would say. In 2026, everyone's talking about AI, algorithms, and automation, but with your many years in entrepreneurship using celebrity status around being in the take that tribute band.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

Yeah, we don't talk about that though, Laura.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

I would love to talk about that.

SPEAKER_04 7:06

Okay, we'll talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

I would love to know what you would say is really right now for real entrepreneurs building real revenue.

SPEAKER_05 7:19

So I think if we're talking online businesses, I've always spoken about personal branding and how as long as I can remember, I've been building a personal brand. You referenced there, my first business, I was 19, and that was a live entertainment company managing us in a Take That Tribute band. And at that point, I'd already been in the band before I started the business for two years, and I was always the person in the band, and I'm sure the other lads would admit this and not mind me saying this, but I would always give that bit more to the fans afterwards. I'd always be at the stage door signing autographs that bit longer and encouraging them to follow us on social media, give us a like, and then I'd be the one saying, Come on, we need to do a Facebook live. And this is going back now. Dare I say it. Not that long ago, because obviously I'm only 21. It's 17 years ago, 16, 17 years ago. So even back then, I really saw the value in building that online presence. And so then when I started coaching nearly seven years ago, that was a big part of what I taught people is personal branding, that whole cliche thing we've all heard a million times, which is people buy from people they know, they like, they trust. So we've got to find ways in our content to get people to really know us and trust us. But I would say now in 2026, it's like whereas before it made sense to have a personal brand if you want to make money online, and especially if you're like an online service-based business, I would say now it's a non-negotiable, like it's an absolute must. And I think one of the reasons is because of artificial intelligence. Obviously, what that's doing is creating more stuff that looks cool and looks great, but it's not really people and it's fake. And what that's doing to trust is making it harder than ever for people to trust anything they see. They're like, I don't know what's real. So in 2026, when it comes to getting attention and building a personal brand, my advice would be number one, it's not a nice to have, it's a must-have. Number two, I believe we've got a window of time in which if you don't build it now, you'll struggle to potentially ever build it because we don't know what's around the corner with the rate of speed in which things are changing. But number three, I would say building a personal brand online, part of that is about building it in person. So it's getting to events, it's going to workshops, it's going to the business retreats and all that kind of stuff because that's where you build real relationships, that's where you get a proper reputation, which you can then take onto the online space. So when people are seeing all these different ads of people coming up and they're like, is that a real person or is that a robot? Is that AI? And they see you come up and they've seen you speak at an event or they've met you at an event, they know you're definitely a real person. So that's what I would say to people: you've got to build your personal brand and you've got to think about what is your strategy and how much of that is you getting in the rooms, either in the rooms to watch the speakers and network or beyond the stages.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

I couldn't agree more. I really couldn't agree more. And it's definitely what has elevated me so quickly within the industry. As soon as I I think similarly to you, I've just had that natural charisma about me. I think when we met you, that's something that you said. So you should be on reality TV.

SPEAKER_05 10:29

Oh, definitely, yeah. Oh my god, you'd be great. Oh, you shouldn't do it though, because reality TV, speaking from experience, is not the best of things to do, but you'd you would make good telly. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

I think you know that. Yes, I know that. Particularly because, yeah, I have my ditzy moments and very emo and very emotional.

SPEAKER_05 10:51

You've got a whole host of traits to your personality, which makes you adorable, entertaining, and also inspiring. So it's all the you tick all the boxes.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

I guess my next question then would be, and I get asked this a lot as well. Can you teach charisma?

SPEAKER_05 11:11

So I think to a point you can teach anything, but there's levels to it. And I think it's a really I think it's a really good thing for us to talk about is you've got all these gurus giving the seven steps to this, six steps to that. And actually, some people what did Dan Meredith say? I watched him on something last night. He said, It doesn't work. I love Dan. I love it. He said, none of this works if you've got the personality of a pebble. Yeah. And I think there's some truth to that. We've got to recognise, we've got to have that self-awareness as human beings to know your strengths, your weaknesses, and to know which weaknesses are worth strengthening and which you have the ability to strengthen, and which are just not your bag, and that's okay. Not everybody needs to be an online business owner, not everybody needs to be a speaker, an entrepreneur, have a personal brand, right? Or in the sense that we talk about building an online personal brand. So I'm gonna I'm gonna stick my neck out and say, no, not everybody should be doing it. But if you want to do it and you have some ability and raw talent, yeah, I absolutely believe it can be taught, it can be honed and you can improve. What's your answer when you get asked?

SPEAKER_01 12:19

So I believe that you think anyone can be taught no, I believe that sim similarly to you, that everybody has their place. How boring would be the world be if everybody was the same.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

So obviously, if you are charismatic and a bit crazy, then you're going to gravitate towards those people because like attracts like.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

And also, so say for instance, like my VA, which she is the backbone of the business in terms of scheduling and spreadsheets and all of those things. I need, but the the when I say to her, so we ran our virtual retreat, virtual summit, and I ask her to come onto camera sometimes, and she hates it. She absolutely hates it. And that isn't because she's got the personality of a pebble.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

Such a good phrase. I'm laughing because I only heard it for the first time last night, and I just it just flawed me.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

She hasn't, but she just there is statistics that people find public speaking more they're more afraid of public speaking than death. Yeah, so than death, death, jinx.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

So I do believe that if you have the you if you have that vision in your mind or you want to do it, you're above that precipice already, and then you can be taught charisma, and you can be taught, you can't definitely can be taught to move away from the pebble into more of a something a bit more exciting. You don't have to be extroverted like myself or you to be in the spotlight, and I have many clients that are in the spotlight that are massively introverted.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

And there's also ways you can make money without being and make good money. There's so many ways now to make money more than ever with the advancements of social media, the internet, AI, that you don't have to build a personal brand, but it is gonna be. I think if you can and you're good at it, building a personal brand is like your insurance against AI in the business online business landscape. And I think it's really important if you're wanting to build that kind of business, you've got to get good at personal branding. But like you say, it's not for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

I would say is similarly to you is the personal brand. If you aren't if you don't have a personal brand in 2026, and you want your business to be successful, you have to have some capacity of it. I'm gonna move over to your tribute acts management company at 19, and then you went on to perform in take the Take That Tribute band. What in those early years did you learn about monetizing your presence and personality that most coaches miss?

SPEAKER_05 15:17

What they miss. I think like with most things, it I always compare business to fitness, right? Eat the right foods, work out regular, you're gonna get fit. It's business is simple, just the same as fitness is simple. What makes it complex is human emotion, is fears, is doubts, is lack of motivation. All those kind of things that make us human is the bit that makes it tough. So I there's nothing that I nothing comes to mind that I think coaches necessarily miss unless they're just terrible, because it's a lot of really basic principles that make people successful. It's just doing them on repeat consistently, and that's where we struggle. People get shiny penny syndrome and they start one thing, then they start another, and they don't stick to things, or they have that self-doubt, so they quit. So I think there's no kind of if people are looking for the magic secret, you'd probably heard what you need to do a million times. It's just are you doing it consistently for long enough? But what I'll say about those early days is I did definitely learn everything not to do in business, like the hard way. So I hired the wrong people, had to let people go, trusted people who stole thousands and thousands of pounds from me. I was 19, I'd never grown up wanting to be a business person. I was just a performer and I kind of saw an opportunity and I was like, yeah, I'll manage us. And then one thing leads to another, and before you know it, you're supposed to be a business person. And now you employ people who are three times your age, and you're supposed to be a boss. And you're like, How do I be a boss? I don't know how to do that. And then you've got Google AdWords and you've got SEO. And it was just learning through doing and having that grit determination, and I guess just naive ambition that I'll figure it out, I'll work it out. So there was a lot of steep learning, but I do think there's something in that in you don't have to have everything figured out. And I think a lot of people wait to feel 100% and that this business will be right, and I've figured it all out, and I've got my 25-year plan. And actually, yes, there's quicker ways to build than I did. Yes, there's easier ways, 100%. Back then, we forget there wasn't Nick, we're talking the best part of 20 years ago, which is ridiculous. No, we're not, we're not. We're talking 16 years ago. I'm older than you. We're talking 16 years ago. So back then, I don't think I don't know if Instagram even existed. I don't think it's I didn't know of podcasts at the time. They might have just been out there, but I didn't know of podcasts. So when we talk about online courses and mentors and coaches, it just wasn't on my radar. And nobody in my business in my family had a business. My dad's a firefighter, my mum a mobile hairdresser. So back then it was really just learning from trying stuff and getting a lot of stuff wrong and failing. And I know that's so cliche we hear all the time learn from failures, but it really was. But now there's easy ways because we've got so much access to good mentors, people like you and I that have been through that for years, that you can learn from that will speed it up. But irrespective of any of that, I think there's a lot to be said for just give it a bloody go and just commit to it. And that sheer great determination to figure out it out and the desire to want to figure it out can take you so far. And I think that is what I got out of those early years. It wasn't easy, it wasn't healthy, it was definitely overworking, it was definitely hustle, it was definitely not sleeping enough. So there's definitely a cost to it, but wow, I learned so much and I got really good results.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah. And I think that you've just hit the now on the head. It's failing forward. You have to, it's like anything, you have to fail before before you get really good at something. It's like when you see a toddler, for instance, they get up and they get up on the sofa for the first time and then they fall down. If they never try to get up again and walk, so it's I think that's what true success is when you see your big names in the industry. It is that they fail, but they just get up much quicker.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

And you're now in the really gorgeous position where you really do know what works, and specifically around live launching, which you've crowned yourself as the king of in within the Yeah, I'm putting my own crown on these days, folks. Well, if you're doing well, then I think that why not shout about it? And clearly you are doing something really well within the success school, and it has become your flagship. So, what is the shift that you're seeing in your time running success school that people are really yearning for community? I think you've obviously you've touched on that already in the conversation. But even from 12 months ago to now, what is the difference that you're seeing in, especially people craving that community feel?

SPEAKER_05 20:19

I think there's been a movement to want in more in-person stuff. I think we obviously had the whole lockdown period, and that's where Zoom was a thing for so many people for the first time, and it just blew up. And I think that served such an important role in people's lives in terms of having that connection, that community, that learning. But I think this last 12 months, people have started valuing more than ever actually. Do you know what? I'm a bit zoomed out, and it's just nice to see real people in real life, and that's why in our membership we introduced a few months ago that we now do in-person meetups every year. We do a few. If you remember, it's no extra cost, you just show up and put your name down. And they're just opportunities, we do they're just like networking parties, opportunities to it's not like you've got loads of speakers and get in loads of value, it's just come together, have a bit of fun, we play a few games, and then the rest is just have the opportunity to actually have proper conversations in the room. So I think that's something we really noticed and we've really doubled down on. The feedback is people really love it, and the other thing, actually, is to my point I was just making there, not to just keep getting information, because I think the the beauty of the online space is everything you ever need an answer to is there at your fingertips. The cost or the flip side of that is there's so much information everybody's just confused and drowning in 20 million different strategies they should be doing and all these different opinions. So, what we've introduced again in the membership is we do a session that is like an accountability intention setting session where we just come together on Zoom and everybody just has an opportunity. We give them some prompts to think about, which is what's working right now, why? What's not, why? Let's set some intentions between now and next session. And it's just a session to come together as a community, pause, reflect, think, make some notes, and then get some clarity to move forward without somebody else teaching seven steps and all that kind of stuff. So we do a session like that every month. We also do mastermind sessions in the membership, which is community-led. So everybody has an opportunity to just say, hey, this is something I'm struggling with. Has anyone got any thoughts? Here's something that's working for me that I want to share. So again, rather than just constantly getting information, we're putting more of an emphasis on people just being able to have conversations, to pause, to think. And there's a lot of clarity coming for people, I think, out of that. And so I think for anybody if you are in a similar space to what we are, we've got to think about as industry leaders, as business owners, with communities like this. Sometimes we think just giving loads of hacks and tips and information is the value. And actually, what I'm finding is just park that a bit. We don't need to just keep getting bombarded with information, we need community and we need conversation.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Yeah. So yeah, it's interesting that you're saying that. So the six years that I have been running my business, it's always been community-led around leaning into what drives the person first and making impact first. And back when I started, a lot of coaches and mentors were like, oh, that's a bit too fluffy. And now it's interesting that now it's reversed. It is what people want. And I've never I've never I've never strayed away from doing what I've I knew in my heart, and what I believe is my life's purpose is to bring people together to elevate them and through connection and building community. So it is just so beautiful to now see that I see really big names that were strategy and it was all about learning, and and now I see that they're it is beautiful, but also a little bit frustrating for me, if I'm really honest, because I'm like, but you weren't saying that five years ago. But again, we grow, we evolve, and we change. And I believe that one of the reasons why people are also leaning more into community is because of AI, and AI, whether you like it or not, is gonna change this world, and it is gonna it's not gonna take people's jobs necessarily, some people's, but it is going to transform the way that people work, and people need people more than ever. We need to be together, we need to interact, we need to yeah, we need to be together, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_05 24:52

And I think more than ever, for a lot of people, especially starting out building a business, it can be such a lonely thing. And quite often a lot of us that are entrepreneurial, we find a lot of our families or friends don't get it, and we feel like we're the odd one out. And I think that is where having community with like-minded people is so needed and powerful. And when I think back to being 19 starting my business, I just thought I were just different to everybody else, and that's it. Now I see so many people like me because of communities like we've built, our membership now has nearly 300 members full of such a range of people, from people just starting out, they've just got a business concept and they're just putting it together and they've not yet got their first paying client to other people in the membership who turn over millions every year and everything in between. So having that, having your peers that are at a similar place in the journey, having people to look up to and be inspired by that are a bit further ahead, that's huge. And I never had that when I started, and really it was when I, years into my business, started listening to podcasts, that's what was the first step to that world.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yeah, and also um, especially as a female founder and who's who specifically are my demographic, so many women minimise talking about money, about finance, yeah, but not just women, obviously men as well. A bit of the craft conversations, being a Brit, being living in the UK. It's like, oh, people don't talk about how much money they make. In my community, we make it so that it's a safe space to be able to talk about your dreams, your desires, your success. Good. Without it being, oh, she's showing off, or who does she think she is? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 26:35

I think that's something we have to change in the UK, and it's it's so difficult to change because it's so ingrained in us culturally. But I believe it's damaging not making money a normal conversation because it affects every single person's life, whether you have it, don't have it. Money is a massive part of our daily life, and just the same as sex. If you don't talk about it, if you make it like a dirty thing that you shouldn't speak about, then you can't have healthy conversation and you can't educate people, and you can't make good decisions about it. And and I think for me, that is part of my mission, and part of my brand is all about everyday normal people, and I say normal in in the inversions of what is normal. What is normal, exactly? But that's been a big thing for me, is a lot of us have grown up thinking successful people, wealthy people, entrepreneurs, business people are those kind of people, and we don't resonate with it being like us. And a lot of my mission is about saying, listen, if you've got a passion and a drive and a work ethic and an idea, I don't care who you are, what your background is, you can have success and you can make money, and you can be proud to make money, and money's making money doesn't have to be a bad thing. And so I think it's an important conversation that we people like you and I have, and know that you will get some criticism, but that's something that they have to work on, and we've got to try and encourage and help more people to work on that because it's just the consequence of being poorly educated on money affects every area of your life, and people don't realise that. Or did I always think it's a bit like smoking when people smoke? They kind of know they're doing bad every day, they know it's bad for them, but you almost distort the information, and I think it's like that with money. People know we need money, and actually it's it's wise to learn about money, but we just distort that. And I think what I hope these conversations do is make people just it just challenges your beliefs and it makes you think differently about it.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Mother Teresa had money, so when we when you have more money, you have more choices, but we could that could be a whole podcast in the world. Yeah, it's a big subject. Yeah, it's a really big subject, and maybe we will do a podcast about that. Just a quick pause in the conversation to let you know that everything that we're talking about in this episode comes down to one thing. It all boils down to whether you are in the right rooms and whether you are heard within those rooms, whether your authority is felt. I know that you've already built something real. You're building a business that is driven by your purpose and passion. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. You have a methodology that you know works, your clients are getting results. But for whatever reason, your name isn't the first name that springs to mind when somebody wants to book an expert for their stage. And I want to help you to change that. The High Caliber Speaker Circle is a community of heart-led, purpose-driven founders that are looking to elevate their voice, position themselves as the go-to expert within their market, and get paid to speak. If you are a founder that is ready to make speaking the sales engine of your business and your number one strategy, then this is the collective for you to check out today. We build your signature talk using my story alchemy formula. We build your pitch system so that you stop waiting to be discovered. And we also build out the back end of your business, not just the social media, looking at how are you converting your clients from your socials and from the stage. We build your funnels and your ecosystem so that you are making it a sales revenue system and not just a clause. Inside, you will get two monthly calls within an amazing group of leading experts where I will coach you and it will be tailored to your specific needs within your business right now. We also have our audio community where you are dropped in voice notes from me every single day where I give you some inspiration or a download that I have discovered that day. Accountability. We also celebrate when we are having highs, and also the community supports one another when we are having wobbles too, because we've all been there. You will have warm introductions into the rooms that you want to be in during your time together. You will be able to feature on this very podcast. Okay, let's go and listen to the episode again. But what I really wanted to now touch upon is the membership and live launching with the tools of IAI. What are the three key areas that you would say that people really need to pay attention to whilst doing a live launch now that you've put on this crown?

SPEAKER_05 32:16

Okay, number one is know your numbers. So know what outcome you want from the next launch and work everything back from there. So if you want to make £50,000 from your next launch, you need to know what is the offer, how much is that offer, and how many people do I need to buy that to make that amount of money. From there, you need to reverse engineer the whole thing. So from there it becomes a numbers game. We know that on average, when it comes to online launches, you can expect between one to eight percent of people who sign up for your free launch event will actually buy. And we also know it's between around 15 to I think it's between 15 to 30% of people from your email list will sign up to your free event. So now you've got some data you can reverse engineer, and these are just averages. By the way, all my launches beat the averages, just saying. But it's good to be aware of them so you can have a realistic ballpark of what you're working in. So that's the first thing is reverse engineer that actual result. Now, what you might find is your audience isn't big enough. So you've got two very simple choices. Well, three, three simple choices. Number one, you need to grow your audience, number two, you need to put the price up of the thing. Yeah. Or number three, change the outcome, decide on a smaller launch target for this one. Or you could put the time scale back. But for most people, they're going into launches without clear goals of what they want that launch to look like. So they don't know how to say if it was successful or not. Or people might just get one or two sales and be like, oh my god, I thought I'd get loads. And it's like if you just look at the industry standards, like the industry rough conversions, like you had nowhere near enough people signing up to get that conversion.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 33:56

So that is the first thing. Know your numbers and be strategic about it. The second thing I would say is obviously for those who don't know, we need to do what is called a free launch event. And what that means is rather than just launching a course, a membership, a programme and saying, Ta-da, I've got something out, buy it from me, and just sticking a post on social media and then just getting nothing and being like, Where is everybody? I thought this would be a success.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

I'm only laughing, guys, because I have done this myself.

SPEAKER_05 34:22

Oh, have you actually?

SPEAKER_01 34:23

So in the past, I'm laughing. I get a lot of clients that, oh, I put it online and nobody's bought it.

SPEAKER_05 34:29

And it's just that, because they don't understand. So what we have to do, yeah, absolutely. And you only know what you do, right? But what we have to do is have a free launch event. So that might be like a free masterclass, webinar, it might be a multiple-day challenge, it might be a workshop, but there's something that you put out there for free that you invite people along to essentially to try before they buy. They get a feel for what you are, what you're about, what you're teaching. And what I would say from my observations of what other people are doing and what we've done is more than ever, you need to make those really good experiences. What I always say to my clients is we've got to make it the objective that whether people buy at the end or not, they leave that, they've invested their time in the free thing and they leave going. That investment of time was a really good investment. I've learned something, I've had a realization, I've done something that has genuinely been useful, irrespective of whether they buy. Now, what I see the mistake a lot of people make with these webinars, masterclasses, is it's a big backstory about who they are, everything they've achieved, everything they've done, it's all me. There's a little bit of value, a couple of tips, but it's just really they're hiding the actual value. It's just a little sprinkling of this is the sort of stuff you need to be doing. Then they go straight into just like my client Lynn, who did this, and just like my other. And it's just like the whole thing is selling disguised as value. And we flip that and we say, if you genuinely give people, and this is the other thing, people say tell them the what they need to do, why they need to do it, but hide the how. I don't do that in my free stuff. I give them the how. And literally, I trust in the fact that they will there will be a percent of people that go, do you know what? It all makes sense. This has been useful, but I need help doing it. And I can see from your passion and from your experience, clearly it's going to be great working with you. And I just think not enough people are thinking like this, they just do these crappy surface-level free events, and the whole thing is a big pitch, really. Yeah, and for me, I don't agree with that, and I think that's why we're we've had the success we have with our launches. So, yeah, and the third thing that I would say about it in in terms of having successful launches is your offer has to be what I call a no-brainer. And there's a lot that goes into how you create a no-brainer, as I call it, irresistible hell yes, offer. But a really simple exercise you can do is take some time, once you really understand who the ideal client is, write a list of everything you can think of, and you can even use your chat GPTs and stuff to help you add to it. Think of every possible pain point about doing this program and what in terms of what it solves and so on, but also objection, every fear. Think of everything your ideal client might be thinking when they're considering working with you and doing this. And if next to every single thing you've written, you can create a solution in your offer, that's how it becomes a no-brainer. And also it's the things like what are the desires, what are the dreams, it's not just the negative stuff. So, for example, when we release my course, I know a pain point of my audience and my ideal client is the struggle with tech. I know I can teach them about launching and put creating their own course of the membership, but the tech side is like, ugh. So, what do we do? We say, okay, not only will you have tutorials and all the rest of it, there'll be people to help do the tech. There'll also be templates where the tech's kind of done, you just need to put your logo in it and things like that. So I've taken the pain point and I've created a solution that's within the offer. I know another thing is they want live support, they don't just want to do a pre-recorded that they've got to self-pace. So we go, okay, every month, and we did it for 18 months on the last launch, which by the way, we'll never do again. That was way too much. But it was like you you can have a full year where there's live check-ins that you can do with us. Jump on Zoom, QA. So, anyway, that hopefully just gives you an idea. But the point is you try and think of everything that would stop someone from buying, or everything that someone would need, and you try and make your offer have that. And I think if you're thinking about your offers like that, rather than just copying oh, someone else did something like this and I'll do something similar, go back to your ideal client and think about what they actually need. That's what your offer should be.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

We could go down so many different roads with this, honestly. Yeah, there's so many things that I could add to this, but I'm really um aware that I only have few first.

SPEAKER_04 38:47

Let's talk double quick. Come on, let's go. Get through your notes, come on, do your list. What's next?

SPEAKER_01 38:53

But no, there's so many things I could add to that, but yeah, amazing. And I loved what you said about writing down the list of all of what your ideal client needs and then giving them every solution and also doing your market research. Something that in the beginning, when I set up the business, I was like, I think I know what everybody needs, so I'm just gonna create this thing, and then everybody's just gonna want to buy it without where is everyone? Why is no one buying this?

SPEAKER_05 39:24

But you heard me speak about on stage, didn't you? That I, for my latest mastermind, I literally went and had coffee with people, I went for dinner with people. The people who I knew were my ideal client, I picked their brains on if you were gonna invest in this mastermind, what do you need in it? What do you need it to be? Rather than just second guessing and just be like, I think it's a great idea. Everyone should have it. I actually asked the exact people that I knew were my clients, and I think that old school just go back to basics of do your market research for a lot of people, that's something they could do better. I think.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

What is the biggest disaster you've ever had in a launch? That isn't written down, that's off the cuff.

SPEAKER_04 40:02

I love it. We're getting all spontaneous and shit.

SPEAKER_05 40:06

I didn't realise my Zoom room capped at 100 people on the master class, and we had a thousand people signed up, and I was just seeing it in the waiting room going up to a hundred. I was like, oh my god, I was expecting because obviously with conversions, just because people sign up, they don't show up. I was expecting around 200 plus. I was like, it keeps getting to 100 and then dropping to 99, going back to 100. And I was like, anyway, I'll just have to let them in. And I was like, Oh, people are saying they can't get in. So that was a disaster, that was awful. Our workaround was we did we then did the whole thing again a week later. But I had my tech guy Dan in the background trying to upgrade our limit whilst we were on it. It was just and look, these are things, and then I spoke to multiple people and like, oh yeah, I did that once. And I think it's good that's where community and peers come in, right? Is to know these things happen and it's all learning. Obviously, it'll never happen for us again. And there it's the failing forward, right? You go, okay, now that's something to hone in on next time. But yeah, that was that at the time, and we still did, that was gonna be our biggest launch, and we still ended up doing, I think, just short of or around £42,000 from that launch that week. So it still was okay, we saved it, but my God, when bearing in mind I had a 90-minute presentation plus QA, so I was about to go for two hours. We've done all the pre-launch build-up, all the marketing, get it, got everyone there, all the emails have gone out, let's go! And you're just about to start all hyped, and you're like, oh fuck, half the people can't get in. Oh, bollocks, what and you and I'm going, Helen, who's my assistant, Helen? What do we do? I was like, voice out in a speak to Dan, see if it and it was like a nighttime. I was like, I know he's with the kids, but just see if it can put them to bed. And it was just and I was just like, Hi everybody, welcome. And actually, Helen said, I couldn't believe it. You would have never known the way you just breezed through and you made light of it. Um so I think it's in those moments of pressure, you've got to build that skill set to to deal with it because things do go wrong.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

I'm just sitting here smiling that your biggest disaster was people.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

You're gonna top me what's yours.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

No, I think the biggest disaster is having this whole launch and being so excited about it. And zero people, zero people came came.

SPEAKER_05 42:29

Yeah. And that's that happens as well.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Zero.

SPEAKER_05 42:32

Yeah. That would I would have loved to have had it on my problems. You're like, oh poor bastard. He's made so much money. Zero. Yeah, but also that happens as well. And I think especially that a lot of that comes back to what I was saying earlier. If you've not done the numbers and you don't have a proper launch plan and strategy, which obviously you do these days, but when you're learning, we don't always know that. And that's where good mentors come in.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

And that's the thing, is that was five, six years ago. And I have clients now that have similar experience where they have very low numbers turned up, and I'm like, you're learning.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

You're learning, and you have to go through it. Okay, so we've covered the business. We know that you've had amazing success through Channel 4's Steph's Pack Lunch, Love Triangle.

SPEAKER_05 43:19

That was not success. By the way, this is what they call a shit sandwich. She's done all the positives. We're going to the failures. Come on then, let's have it. Where are we going?

SPEAKER_01 43:31

So you have achieved the Guinness World Record for 53 hours live stream. 53 hours. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 43:42

It was a lot.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

And you've built a top charting podcast. So obviously you've got all of the success. And I know you personally, and we spent the time together, and we've talked and the what you've told me about relationships and that's what we're going to explore because I genuinely and I genuinely care about you as a person as well and I know that you have a lot to give and it does make me really sad when I flip on my social media and you're talking about being so unlucky in love and where am I going to find does the person exist? And then however behind the scenes you're like I'm not going on dating apps and I'm not looking and I'm so the first question before I go through any answers is if a client said to you that they're not going they wanted clients and they but they wasn't gonna go out and look for them actively what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_05 44:53

You're being a knob you're being a knob. Go on next question. Okay and have you noticed Matt that's just what you're doing you're being a knob and this is from a friendship.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

We're not on camera nobody's watching us just two mates having a chat about my failed loved one what would you say what would you say to me if I and by the way as we know and everyone that listens to the show my previous shows knows I also have a love life that hasn't got much on Taylor Swift and actually some friends have said and it's funny that you've said that because my friends before I got married used to send me Taylor Swift songs. Oh really so when I met you and you said that I'm the male equivalent. Yeah so obviously from me if I was saying to you if I was saying to you Matt I really want to meet someone I want to settle down I've got so much to give but I don't want to go on dates and I don't want to go on any apps what would you say to me?

SPEAKER_05 45:58

Well I should I have been on apps as well so it's not as black and white as like I'm not okay it's just I am on them and I do go on dates. Ladies if you're listening so so it's not a case of me going oh I I think there's two things one is what I what you're referring to is more me saying how tedious it is how frustrating it can be how my experience hasn't been the best like there's something I spoke about on Steph lunch years ago where I actually went through an experience where I was literally for about I can't remember how long but it was months speaking to somebody who was using somebody else's photos and it was a romance scam. They were they were they were trying to get money out of me. And this went on for months and it was in lockdown where you couldn't meet people they'd she'd ring me on the phone so I'd hear a voice she'd do videos of stuff where she wasn't in it but I heard a voice so I just thought the picture and the voice was who it was I never had a FaceTime. So that's going back 2020 21 whatever so I've had multiple experiences of being on them and giving them a go. It's not and I'm talking over years now. So there's that and there's another part of it which is yes that's part of something I want in my life but is the effort worth the reward in this season when I've also got other things that I really want and are important as well. Yes. So the stuff you're referring to is more me just saying this is just a bit part of me wants to but another part thinks it's a lot of work there's I've got lots of evidence stacked up of how shit it can be. So I think really the question comes down to is this the right season for you? What have you tried what hasn't worked why hasn't it worked and is there something else maybe and I honestly I'm not sure other than one thing I do maintain is as best as possible you have to have an open mind and you have to have a positive outlook. You can't get and it's so easy to get into that everyone's a knob dating's shit it's so easy when you stack up evidence that suggests lots of people can be shit. Lots of people do lie lots of people do ghost you lots of people are superficial and it's if you're not six foot as a guy I don't even want to look at you. I've literally had a girl where we were speaking it was going well and she went oh my god I didn't realise I didn't realise you were under six foot I don't she was five foot three and she won't date anyone under six foot okay and like what absurdity is this that we've now culturally gone to believe that's it has to be that what so anyway I could go on a rant you might have noticed but there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff to it I would say but it's definitely not a case of me saying I won't go on dates I'm not on the apps there's just a very real it takes a lot from you to put yourself out there again and again and to maintain a positive outlook I'm just curious whether do you have to put yourself out there necessarily if you're dating for instance it's more of a it's more of a kind of an interview selection selective period where you're observing the person whether they're right for you. It's both though isn't it you're still being observed.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

I see I'm coming from a female's perspective as well so yeah it's interesting to even think as the man it is more and obviously we touched on this in the I don't know what it's called the dressing room before I can't remember I wondered what you was going to say there I was like yeah just in that room man there that'll be yeah so before we start recording yeah and we're talking about how people love to label everything and everybody and people love to Yeah all men are bastard all women are crazy all those kind of generic things that people fall into the trap of saying and also there is a lot of what I see a lot of is that almost like men feel a little bit like oh what is what is she after what does she want from me it's like you have to pursue it it's like the hunter gatherer as a man yeah and men are I feel like a lot of men are a bit afraid of women what a lot of women are bashing men.

SPEAKER_05 50:17

Do you think that's anything to do with what you're experiencing I've there's I definitely would say there's probably been instances where I've fancied someone and I've been scared to know how to approach her if that's true. I've heard or maybe I've felt they're out of my league and that that's definitely true. So yeah there there's definitely been experiences with stuff like that but I don't know I think for me I've had multiple experiences with either girls that I was dating and had a really good connection with or full blown relationships with girls that I've loved where they've not been who I thought they were. Like I've I obviously we've talked about there that that was not as extreme with the romance fraud where I never actually met her that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

Again so just for the audience listening is I am going to be going for a process with you today where I'm going to make you in a relaxed state. In so I in my mastermind and my one-to-one sessions I am trained as a hypnotherapist and it's not something I actually I think I talk about enough and obviously we to we'll talk about that in a minute and you said you were not very sub subjective for susceptible yeah it's not really my thing the woo stuff I respect it it's not naturally who I've been as a human it isn't that's not the thing I've been attracted to or drawn to doing more of that stuff. But I am open minded yes and I do stay open minded I'll have you know yes and so today we're uh I'm gonna go through some I'm going through these series of questions to help to rewire Matt's brain to help him to start because of all of the things that have happened to you basically what we have in our subconscious mind is we have this almost like a supercomputer you've basically got this drawer of all of these memories you can't access them at every single given moment because otherwise your brain would just explode it would implode. So we have this these these files if you like where it will label in your mind when something has safe and unsafe and because of the experiences that you've had up to this date that you've mentioned a couple what's happening in your brain is tagging that dating and relationships are not safe. So what I really want to help you because you've got so much to give you an attractive man you deserve to have a loving partner and what you've experienced is rubbish and I hate that for you but there are really gorgeous people out there but also on the other side of that are you actually ready to meet somebody from what you've said do you think it's the right time there's an element of for the right person it'll be the right time like you make it work.

SPEAKER_05 53:16

Yeah yes there's definitely this is a period for me now where we are exploding as a business there's no denying it this last 12 months has been the biggest the best year in business I've had in 16 years this year and with that comes a level of I've been putting in the bloody work there has been as much time for a social life this year though things are different. I've simplified things I'm saying no to more things I am creating space and just the last couple of months I was dating somebody and it was nice to have that and actually go actually I could have worked this weekend but instead that can move and we're having the weekend together and we're turning the phone off and we're having quality time and we did and it was lovely and we had a really nice time so I think when you have that connection if you do mate it's like having children. Before having children I imagine I'm not a dad so I don't know but I imagine like where would you fit in this whole human being into everything we've got but you make it work and you have to yes it's been a busy period and it probably hasn't been the best time but I do feel now if I met the right person and the connection was there I have a lot in place to be able to go I can really give this the time the love the space it deserves so I'm gonna say yeah if it's the right person.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

I think that's the true answer that you're giving me now where sometimes I'm not I ain't got time I read obviously the people for a living so sometimes when you're talking I know that it's not your truth. Yeah when I'm like I ain't got time anywhere is like more of an excuse that's coming from a hurt place because you've been hurt and that's natural. So that's good because then I've got something to work with yeah I've got something to work with if you honest and say yes I am open to meeting somebody they have to be right and they have to respect that I ha have a lot going on but that was going to be one of the questions that I asked you is and you've answered it but I'd like to you to elaborate on that more is around your capacity to actually switch off and do things for yourself because before somebody comes into your life if you're working and obviously you've said in the past that you've worked and worked with do you actually make space and room for obviously right now it isn't somebody else but yeah for yourself.

SPEAKER_05 55:39

Yeah so I think if I was to objectively look at these fears you talk about I think one that you've covered there is that fear of being hurt because again there's been a buildup of evidence that I've I've had people let me down, lie to me cheat on me so on. So that's a very real thing. But the other side and the personal responsibility side is I can also reflect on my behaviour is I love my work and I often if I'm not with somebody and I've not got the responsibility of being present in in in a relationship and serving somebody else or being a parent or any of those things I will happily work all week and I won't switch off but I'll happily do that. That's my if you want to call it drug obsession I love it I love my business and I love building a business and I think entrepreneurial people are a bit wired up like that and obviously a relationship requires you to put other people's needs first sometimes and switch off from the business. So I do think there's a lot of truth in they are my two if I was to go deep on it my two biggest fears one is that she will hurt me and I'll put invest a lot of time energy emotion care into somebody to be hurt again the other is I'm scared of hurting her because I'm not being as present as she needs me to be and I just get all excited and just want to talk about business and sometimes she might just want to go for a walk and just talk about the traitors or something that was on tele.

SPEAKER_01 57:12

So they are the two fears below the two conflicting and obviously we're gonna go through and they're all both about being hurt they're can they're conflicting. So at the moment there's a your truth which is I would love to meet somebody if they're the right person I'd make space but then you've also got these two conflicting fears that running in your subconscious mind all of the time even if you met the right person am I going to have enough time for them am I going to hurt them so actually what you then you do is sabotage it without even knowing that you're sabotaging it.

SPEAKER_05 57:46

So my next question is have you experienced a really lovely relationship before where it even if it was just like a little glimmer of what you want in the future and what did that look like oh my god yeah I've had lovely relationships we've highlighted the people who've maybe been like have let me down and hurt me but actually there's been some relationships where to this other fear where I've not been present enough for them and they've left me and it was nothing that they necessarily nothing's ever perfect but that relationship didn't end because they were at fault necessarily it was predominantly me. I was the problem there and it's that and I've spoken to other relationship experts about this before it's quite a common thing in men and ambitious men that women will quite often give hints or give signals that they're not happy or even not even hints or signals they'll just say it outright and as men they just think oh they're just being emotional they'll be fine tomorrow or I'll buy them some flowers but really everything's fine and that's the woman going no I'm starting to check out here I need you to actually really take this seriously but the man's got this optimistic view of as long as I keep working and bringing in the money and we'll have a nice date night tomorrow night but it's the little thing she was needing and it was those little moments that she just needed to be seen and she didn't need the grand gestures or the money. Yeah and I have 100% been guilty of that. Yeah I have definitely and so by the time she leaves she's had six months of thinking about leaving but for the man it like hits him out of nowhere fucking hell I thought we'd be together forever. I've definitely had that happen multiple times and from my perspective they were absolutely amazing women like lovely people and I still think the world of them and wish them all the best I've nothing bad to say about these people like and there's multiple of them again the Taylor Swift thing I've got lots of albums I could write if I wanted to I've had relationships with some great women for years and how did that look it looked like mutual respect it looked like having a laugh being silly usually silly voices sometimes I did impressions of dogs which won't go there no stop but like silly fun going on nice nights but also having precious little moments and having lazy days that like I've absolutely been blessed with having incredible moments in relationships.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

Yeah so you've mentioned there as well around and what I'm sensing from you is a little bit of there is a little bit of guilt in there. Yeah there is I've actually got really nervous and feel weird now I feel like talking like really no but that's that's why you're but obviously that's sweats that's why you're here to want something I'm fine I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

I'm gonna have some just get it over with Laura put me out my misery can I have yours because I've got my water somewhere else get it over drinking anymore I'm like I've actually nearly done a month sober I'll have you though not anymore not after today well is that in camera short that's high dog go on grill me and back in the room go on okay yeah so I genuinely sense some guilt around that and guilt is one of the lowest vibrations of energy so when you're carrying around this guilt and this it's almost like oh I'm gonna F it up to chewed and all of the and you've got those Do not swear on your podcast.

unknown 1:01:28

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:29

Sorry folk but I try not to s I try not to swear on stage anymore. Yeah it's yeah I played it down recently I've got a bit yeah it's not the best is it's all the more I've been yeah the more I've been doing more work on stage and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:45

Yeah I'm too in real life yeah fuck them all yeah but I okay I'll swear less now it's okay you're right you're okay okay so guilt yes lowest vibration yes stop trying to distract me no sorry we've just I'm focused because that's what you're doing yeah I am it's a coping mechanism yes it is but I'm I'm on my lowest vibration guilt bring take me that that take me that down come on no but I'm gonna bring you back up yeah I'm here to I'm here to help you yeah go down and then up nice yeah and it is a coping mechanism do you know why I know that because I use it as well yeah so yeah I sent some some guilt in there that you've got these alarms going off in your brain and have you got any fear have you got any fear around rejection I'm just curious yeah I think so yeah yeah I think I've always cared about how I look and I I've been I've been auditioning I was eight years old when I first went to acting classes and was auditioning and so you get rejected all the time I've I was nearly I was I nearly got a big role in Coronation Street I nearly got a big role in Emmerdale but didn't quite get it I got I did screen tests on Coronation Street where you actually go on the set and you work with the actual actors I was with is it called Kim Marsh the woman who's in it like she was opposite me as my mum and and from a young age it's rejection and you get some wins and my first proper girlfriend I think I got with her maybe 18 19 something like that and she dumped me on my 21st birthday and I never ever thought that we'd split up back then.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:32

I thought we'd be together and it completely flawed me that rejection that that was a complete I did not see that coming yeah so if you think about it now logically because I know you're a very logical thinker I know that you're you like to rationalise things if you think about it you've you had a lot of rejection at an early age and that didn't feel doesn't feel good to anybody to be rejected so you've made up this rule like you've said around seeing someone attractive and thinking they're out of your league and how do I approach them with all of that in mind if you didn't have that fear how would you do things differently oh my god if I didn't ever have any fear of rejection around relationships specifically I'd fucking talk to everybody I'd be like what are you come here I would just be like because I've there's nothing to lose we're either gonna have a good conversation we're gonna have a laugh or not yeah I hope that doesn't make it sound like I'd be a dick no no you but it like I hope people would know I'm just having a laugh yeah well but I don't really know you that well but I do but you do so it's alright with you.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:59

But again we're not on a podcast we're just me having a chat but yeah I would literally be like if there's somebody that takes my fancy and I'd like to get to know I would just be over there asking about themselves and getting to know them. Okay and I wouldn't say all you probably will cut that out keep it in hopefully they get to know that I wouldn't actually go and if you do I apologise I wouldn't say that but I genuinely I can't and I think anybody listening if everybody on some level fears rejection of course and I and just that concept you've given me of it gone I'd be like oh my god like I'll talk to anybody okay so how can you start to how can you start to implement and have less of that fear as you when you leave the studio today and you meet somebody you think they're attractive maybe

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

Even if they are out of your league. How could you override much like you do in business? So you think about your business. Sometimes you probably, when you're around peers, you've interviewed like me, you've introduced, you've interviewed celebrities, you've probably met people that you do feel a little bit like an imposter around, but you override that fear, right? I'm just curious, how could you inject more of that into meeting women and use that to your advantage?

SPEAKER_05 1:06:31

Um I think what comes to mind is not making it outcome-based.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:43

It's about can we just have a good exchange with no expectation? I think when you see somebody you like and you really hopeful they'll like you back, the whole thinking around it is please like me, please find me funny, please find me attractive. And that's what goes on. Because you want that outcome, you just want it to be reciprocated reciprocated. And it would be shifting the focus away from that and going just be present in the moment and just have a nice chat, just put the emphasis on getting to know her and not trying to be something for her. Did I smash it? Is that right? Is that the correct concept?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

So also stop showing off. It's also your it's also how much do you like you? How much do you think you're funny? How much do you because ultimately if you believe that about yourself, so as I've had some things going on in my marriage, I'm not even thinking about dating anything like that. But when I do, let me tell you, I will be on fire because I without sounding like an absolute knob, I really genuinely know that I'm funny, I know that I I'm not bad for 40. I know that I I've know that I've got a lot to give. So if that person doesn't see that, that's their fucking loss.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:15

Yeah. And I've always been a chronic people pleaser. I've always wanted everybody to like me. And it's something in the online space I have definitely struggled with is and doing a reality TV show where even just some of the clips you go out, get loads of views, and just people like ripping your appearance, or what or the one I get a lot is oh, he's just gay anyway. When's he gonna tell us she's that he's gay? And putting yourself out there publicly of all the bits of building a personal brand and an online business, the bit I've struggled with the most is that rejection, is that not being able to be liked by everybody. You can't when you go out to in front of millions. There's just no way everyone's gonna resonate with you and everybody's gonna like you. So that is innately me. Like that has been me for as long as I can remember is I want I do want to be liked.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:06

Yeah. Everybody does. Everybody does, right? Everybody wants to be liked. It's in our in it's in our nature to so if we go back it all the way back to ancient history, we used to be in packs, that's how we survived. We had to be liked. So obviously, in entrepreneurship, you've already put your head above the precipice and said, you know what, I'm gonna do things differently, and actually I'm gonna I am let you shoot. Yeah. So it is people that are entrepreneurs are not normal, yeah. Yeah. Even for you to be for how vulnerable that you've been today, that's you're unusual for putting yourself out there. But you're I know you as a person, and I'm I'm assuming actually that you do this so that it might help somebody else.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:47

Oh gosh, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:48

Yeah. Same with me. So I'm very vulnerable with my life online, but I do that from a place of if this helps one person every single day, and it does, it does help them because we can't relate to stuff unless people are this honest.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:04

And it's having conversations like this, and my hope for this conversation is that people can go, oh, okay. You don't just see me and you on social media doing all the cool stuff, like, oh, they're human too, and they struggle with that too. And what that can give is that inspiration that we've all got flaws, we've all got weaker areas, but we can all still do good shit anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:27

Sorry, I swore again.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:30

We've had this has been an amazing conversation. I'm not gonna have time to hypnotize you today. You'll probably like it. But I'll get you another day. Yeah, okay. But the thing is that the questions that I have been asking you today, it is a form of hypnosis, so it's helping you to see and to create those new neuropathways. It doesn't help that we've got lights and cameras and a man in here that you don't know, and all of those things. So obviously, the you being relaxed isn't going to be as powerful if you obviously when you're the way that hypnosis works is it helps you to relax so that those neurotransmitters can create and change faster. The last question that I'm just gonna ask you with regards to this is even through this conversation today, what are you going to take from this conversation and do differently from when you walk out of the studio?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:29

I think the big one is remembering there's those two fears that sometimes, if you're not careful, are gonna be in the driving seat. And it's okay to acknowledge the past, it's okay to acknowledge those fears are valid.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:45

But they're not useful.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:48

So for me, I think what's been really good for me about just getting that off my chest and then having you just wade in and pick it apart and go, okay, so let's be clear about what that is. It's that thing of awareness is the first piece, and I'm now probably more aware because of this conversation of what those fears are, why they're there, but the important bit is that they're not useful. So we have to, and I think attached to that, I think it's a really good realization of if I didn't if I didn't fear rejection and I didn't make things outcome-based of please like me, I need you to like me, and actually just made it about I just want to get to know this person. I am me, I am what I am, it is good enough for the right person. I don't need to try and be liked by this person, and I think removing that outcome or that need for that outcome, it it shifts your energy. It probably makes you more attractive, right? Because you're not needy, you don't need them to like you, you're just wanting to get to know them.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:53

I think it is. I think it makes you more as you know, because you've been so visible, the more that you are actually embodied within yourself, and actually, you know, your charisma and your weirdness and your quirkiness.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

Well, it was weird.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

All right, yeah, the more that people are like, I really like this guy, and that's the same for a relationship. And I'm really sorry that you've had those shitty relationships in the past, but I know that you will find someone amazing. I know that you will. Thank you, and I know that person will be acceptant of your work as well, and of course, there's going to be things that you need to work on yourself, but you're aware that you've just said you're aware of them, you're aware of them now. So you've learned that lesson that I think the one bit of feedback that I would say to you to take from this conversation today is if you are genuine about making time to meet somebody is one, put yourself out there, get over that fear of rejection. I think working on working on making up more time for yourself to switch, even though you love your job and you love your career and you love you're so passionate about it and you're really good at it, clearly. You're putting it in the forefront of everything when actually when we go into that coffin, we're not taking it with unless you create a legacy that you pass to somebody else, which is what me and you want to do. But at the end of the day, you know, it's making time for yourself, and then when the right person comes, it's not oh, I have to change everything to fit this person in. It's a bit like if you've ever seen The Secret, where they say about making room in the closet, and so a cute story, and we'll wrap up after this. So when I met my husband, and I think I've told you this before, I went to his house and I'd never been to his house before, and he lived in a four-bedroom house, it was gorgeous. And I was like, he must be married, and I was walking around looking for shoes and things, and then he'd read The Secret, and I was and I said to him, Oh, why have you got this big house? And he's like, I thought that if I bought this big house, then I'd get a family. He got a 13-year-old and me, so you know, so it's he actually made room for it, so you have to make room for the things that you want. So I'd say, even though you haven't got somebody's not filling that slot, I would say, do nice things for you in that time, go for nice walks without thinking about business. Because I've seen you say yourself that then in that time you get more creativity, get more sparks.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:48

Yeah. Thank you. That's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:52

Thank you for tuning in to SoulSpeaks with me and Matt, and of course, all of the details about Matt, how you can join any of his memberships.